Entering my sercret Cave

I am traveling thru this world not as a inhabitant but more as an observer. From early in my childhood I always felt like an outsider looking in, not because others excluded me but because I never felt connected to the world around me. I often have memories of past lives interfere or at least affect my present veiws on day to day events. I find myself longing for the days when a man could find and get all he needed from the wilderness around him.
	The wilderness, along with its mystery, is almost gone from todays world. Science kills the "believers", Dont get me wrong Im not against science, after all it has alotted me this outlet. Only a few hold on to the wonders and powers of the old ways. For those who truely believe nothing can take away the magic. The problem with todays logic is the exceptance of a rule even though there are one or more naturally occuring "exceptions" to that rule. The every rule has an expection Rule. This glosses over all the unexplainable things that the old ways explained. Our world was formed based on these acient laws.
This explains why most people have such trouble fitting into the world. When we set ourselves against the natrual laws of our makers, we lose contection with the source from which that all things origrinated. No wonder most are caught in a cycle of believe in a 'truth', discovering a new 'truth', and the feeling of being lost while searching for the next belief that fits this 'truth'. I do not claim to know all the answers or even any at all. All I claim is this I know what I have believed is no longer what I believe. That my truths are now fiction and my fiction are truths. And from what I have seen most are going thru the same in greater or lesser degrees. In all of us is the call of the beginning pulling us back to believes-docterns-religions man followed before we reasoned away wonder. When there was awl in the fact that the sun rose each morning, that plants spring back after a hard winter, and that we even existed at all.
	What has all our learning and reason taught us. The sun rise each morning only because the earth is rotating as it circles the sun. Ok where did the sun from, what keeps us form going off in a straight line instead of circling, how did we start circling and why do we rotate and what started the rotation. Knowning how something happens does not distory the mystic reasons for its being in the first place. If after forming the sun and earth the goddess/god set them in motion on there current plans, seems no less possible then that as the sun formed from a whirling cloud of matter with smaller globes forming continuing this whirling at different distance from the central orb. Being pulled closer as they try to spend away in straight lines cause their orbits. Reason while a wonderous gift can be taken to far or not far enought. Why is it so hard to believe a glad loving being started all this out of her/his own loneliness to bring love and companionship into being.